No Up-time Without Down-time

Three things:
     First,
I just finished some brutal and delicious wings. My Mom ended up making some wings, so I decided to make my own sauce for them, and I suffered for it (it was great). Here's the recipe for the sauce I made:
-2 pts Rhino Peri-Peri sauce
-1 pt A&W BBQ Sauce
-1 pt Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ Sauce
-1 pt Wasabi
-1 pt Spicy Mustard
-.5 pts Soy Sauce
-.5 pts Mayonnaise
-1-2 drops Mad Dog .38 Special
My tummy hurts, my mouth and lips are still burning, and my throat feels like it was finished throwing up (after-burn). I recommend it, though, if you like hot stuff.
     Second,
The "Time Toupée" is an ancient artifact of great and mysterious power. It comes and goes at will, choosing its wearer. One time it chose a host that didn't even need a toupée.
     Third,
I'm sure most people tend to deal with trying to be a certain way that, at least in part, deviates from their normal self on a regular basis. Sadly, most people don't notice that they're doing it; they've turned it in to second nature. As sad as it may seem to think that most people are being passive about what really boils down to "everyday bullshitting," is it perhaps better than being able to recognize it? I'm not going to try and argue for "ignorance is bliss" or anything but I feel like the deeper (more critically) you look, while maintaining full awareness of what is happening, the farther removed you will become from your self.

Stop and take a moment to smell the bullshit. My bullshit. I'm being critical of myself here. I hate taking my interest in sociology too far. My real problem is that I feel like in noticing people's masks, I try them on to test their results. Like a different form of "monkey see, monkey do." Trying to be something else can be harmless enough on its own, but when you (I) lose track of not only how many masks are being worn at a given time but why they were being tried on in the first place you can easily forget yourself (myself).

I'm dancing around it and being dramatic. I don't know how to approach something. Something that I should have learned how to approach a long time ago. I have a few masks that could work, but the more I rely on these "characters" and "personas" the further behind I'm going to be on a personal-growth level. I'm just afraid that when I decide to do something about it, I'm going to either sell-out and use a mask (a victory I couldn't enjoy, should success be met at all) or muck it up horribly because the only way my genuine self can handle anything is through cowardly childish methods (because my unmasked self hasn't grown enough yet). If honesty truly is the best policy, I may just have to go-for-broke and hope for the best. The honest method unsettles me in another way though: even if I am to approach this situation honestly; who am I, to be so selfish, to dump the responsibility of dealing with, and understanding, my personal inadequacies on someone else? I understand I need to look out for my own interests every so often; in most cases the approach would be composed of an agreeable middle-ground between the interests of the subject, and interests of the Interested: I can't ignore the interests of the other party. Then again, I could just do nothing.

These insecurities sound, to me, like something I should have dealt with years ago. Am I wrong? Any advice?

Take care,